Your Own Best Friend or Your Own Worst Enemy?
My dear Beautiful You friends, my Beauties, how are you?
Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a bit. I’ve been floundering, not really certain which way to move forward while at the same time feeling as if I wasn’t doing enough, being enough. Come on girl, get back to writing daily!!! The whip was out. Thankfully, no self-flagellation was involved, but I was certainly being hyper-critical of my lack of doing.
It wasn’t until I spoke with one of my students yesterday that I realized what I was doing to myself. My student was having a tough time and so I suggested she had the option of being her own best friend or her own worst enemy. I put it like this: If your best friend was going through what you’re going through, wouldn’t you treat her with some extra TLC, reminding her every chance you got she was not only cherished and valued and that she mattered, but that, this too shall pass???
It was this gentle, ‘Oh yeah, I have a choice about how I treat myself,’ reminder which allowed me to stop disparaging my need to just be.
The beauty of these moments is that if we listen and take them to heart, things shift instantly. Later that same day, my girlfriend and I were sharing how each of us had been feeling – a little off, a little depressed. But was it depression? or hormones? or the weather? or winter?… I told her I felt like I’d been floundering for some time now. But because of the reminder I could be my own best friend, I decided to repaint the image. I wasn’t floundering at all, I was floating on my back in the ocean, at peace, staring up at the cloud studded sky and loving every minute of the slow pace and listening to my body saying, ‘It’s time to do nothing but read a really good book – all day long!!!’ And then doing it. And if I wanted/needed to do just that several days in a row? Well then, that was okay too.
It also didn’t hurt that my girlfriend recapped for me all the things I had done throughout October and November and December. She suggested this ‘floating on my back’ time, was necessary so all—I had learned, the energy work I had shared, the healing I had done, and the act of stepping back into my own power, again—could settle deep in my bones, in my heart and soul, and become part of who I am now. I liked that. The imagery felt right. Voila! I was now treating myself like I was my own best friend. What a lovely shift from I am not enough, to I AM enough.
What this experience taught me at a much deeper level was that I need to value the quiet times as much as I do the Nike brand ‘Just Do It’ times. Like I would for my best friend, I now give myself permission to steep in my own juices, to regroup, to be kind and gentle and loving to myself… to be my own best friend. Having made this mental and emotional shift, I no longer feel as if I’m floundering, I know I am selfing ~ taking fabulous care of myself. I am more centered and thus kinder to others, I am more loving, and I am more open to possibilities. And isn’t that what we all want for our best friends?
Here’s to your selfing and being your own best friend.
Love and Light, Grace and Ease.