The word ~ raw ~ comes to mind when we are really in the thick of it. You know that feeling when the walls are closing in and you can’t breathe and you don’t see a way out – you can’t go through it, or under it, or around it. The only way, and I mean the only way is to surrender and just be in the moment. And breathe. And breathe again. And ask for help and then accept it with gratitude.
But what if you can’t, not because you won’t, but because you don’t know how? What then? Do you just continue your spiral downward and out of control-ness? Yes, some do.
For those of us on the sidelines watching those we love struggle, the only thing all we can do for these beautiful souls is to love them even more, forgive them whole heartedly, and hold the light, big and bright, so that when they do wake up, they have a light to guide them home.
For those of us who somehow manage to claw our way through or really, truly surrender to the moment and let go and stand aside and allow God/the Universe take over, well, we are the lucky ones ~ a phoenix rising from the flames, transmuted into something new and shiny and yes, still raw, but in a whole new way. Possibilities become our friends, miracles happen, opportunities start to present themselves, but we have to stay vigilant, we have to want to see these blessings and then we have to act on them.
One of the most challenging things in life is letting go of the outcome. When you love someone and see they are heading for a brick wall at light speed, or about to tip into a dark, fathomless, pit our basic instinct is to help. But what if they won’t let you? Do you stay and get sucked into the whirlpool that is mired in self-doubt and not good enough-ness, or do you stay objective and send that person all the love you can manage, all the faith and hope they don’t have for themselves?
It’s vital to remember, you have to put your oxygen mask on first, and then keep it on, before you can help someone else.
Loving someone who (from our outside point of view) is killing themselves slowly is so hard, so very, very hard. At the same time, it’s a testament to the human spirit. We are meant to be in this together and that’s probably one of the hardest things about watching someone you love slowly, and with purpose, drown to death because they won’t, can’t, or don’t know how to accept help.
The only way I’ve been able to get through this, is knowing that they know I love them with all of my being, that they know they can call whenever they need to, and that I can’t fix them. They have to fix them.
As a sister, this is one kind of journey, as a parent, another. I just wanted to take a moment and honor this journey for the ones in the thick of it AND for the ones standing on the side lines, cheering with all of our hearts and souls, “You can do this! You can, you can, you can!”
Like so many things in life, you first have to believe that you can, before you can see that you can.
Here’s to all of us seeing more clearly our own potential and living the lives we deserve because we have come to the profound and life altering realization that, yes, we do indeed deserve the very best. Not because we are better than, but just because we are.
Blessings, and Happy Cultivating